MiCasaLoca

I want to be Joel McHale

Ah yes, what a life Joel McHale must have.  While The Soup reviews the best and worst of television each week, I could review what is appropriate for

• family viewing and not cause excessive drooling/snoring from the parents

I'm going to look now.  Let's see what there is on t.v. tonight where I don't have to spend more time explaining to my daughter what she just saw like I did growing up watching couples make out in bed in Dallas.  I thought for awhile that all men were as mean as J.R.  It's not that I mind having to explain things.  I love watching Will & Grace and I don't mind spending a few minutes answering questions.  Usually we are both laughing so hard as Jack does his usual that Mari doesn't ask why he's kissing another guy on the lips.  I guess my standards are different for me in regards to what my children see.  I'm a closet fan of Friends and never thought once that Mari shouldn't watch even though Ross kept switching partners.  I was never worried that she would learn to take marriage lightly like he did.  Yet that is what my parents worried would happen to me.  They were afraid pop culture would influence me so lovingly they would restrict my shows to what they thought was appropriate.  Now to an extent, I believe in the same principle.  I once had a friend who let her 3 year old watch Chainsaw Massacre . I'm not sure how that little girl feels about chainsaws now that she's older.  I wonder if she saw ours, would she run screaming out of the house?  That's not what I call a family friendly movie.   

I'm still looking....

If we don't find anything family oriented, we can always watch TLC,HGTV, or the Travel Channel.  There's always something we can watch there!

Why I hate/love computers

Have you ever sat laughing and crying at the same time?  I have...just now.  I should pull out a separate notebook and write down every time something happens to me that is both terrible and amazing at the same time.  Take for instances, the last blog that I wrote.  No, I'm not talking about Habits.  I'm talking about the one that I was almost finished writing when suddenly, for no BLANKING REASON, my computer died.  Of course, I broke the famous rule all writer's know..."save as you go"  I didn't save as I go and I was 3 words from finishing a quite lengthy and well researched blog when the screen went black.  We could create a comedy built just on what happens to Mary Ann-that's me!  I'm the guy in that movie that I can't think of the name...the one where he gets stung by a bee, but doesn't know it...and he's highly allergic and blows up.  I'm Chris Farley in Tommy Boy where Tommy backs up and destroys his partner's car door.  The list goes on as to what script was written with me in mind.  If it's going to happen, it will surely happen to me.  I was three words shy of finishing how I have to become un-clueless about popculture as I have a tween living in the house and I have to know what's hot or I won't have a clue as to what she's talking about.  I was this close to admitting how I didn't know who Joel McHale was.  I had just answered the phone and was about to tell my sister that I was trying to do a series of blogs for a very important reason and that I would have to call her back when MY COMPUTER DIED.  It went black.  No reason.  Just died.  And then I cried. 

Some could blame it on new mother blues.  Some could say it's because I have Nathaniel Hawthorne in my blood.  Or that I am a very vain writer and think that everything I write is great.  Or maybe it's because I had spent time doing research on some really interesting television shows and I wanted to share with everyone what I had learned...that there are interesting t.v. shows out there.   But nooooo....maybe I should have watched the movie, Signs, to see if the screenplay covers the possibility that if a person has detours preventing them from doing something, they should see it as a SIGN that maybe they shouldn't do it.  If this is not what the movie is about, maybe I should write a screenplay.  I'll be the main character and we can watch me fatally ignore the signs.  Or maybe I was abducted by aliens like in the t.v. series, Taken. Dakota Fanning could do the voice over and narrate just how many times I was warned!  I actually liked that series, but then, I didn't watch it during the season.  I rented the 6 discs from Blockbuster and watched 4 episodes a night, commercial free.

So the last question is...as I wipe the last tear away and try to figure out how to call my sister and tell her that I suddenly decided to take life too seriously, a serious no-no in our books....is what should we watch as a family tonight.  I love having a computer so I can read about the shows before we watch them to know if they are okay for all audiences.  Gabito, at 8 weeks, has seen quite a few movies that our lovely 8 year old will not see for awhile, like Star Wars III and War of the Worlds.  Some kids her age could handle those, but she has such an imagination that they would haunt her dreams.  I know because they haunt mine. 

Habits

Ok, I have to get serious now and truly blog about television shows.  See, it's just as I have said before.  I have a short attention span which probably what makes me a good candidate for television shows if I wasn't so busy avoiding it. When I'm not avoiding the television, I become hooked on comedic sitcoms such as That 70's Show. I know that the idea is to grab older audiences, but I could relate as it covered the humorous side of relationships.    Greg the Bunny was so funny that I couldn't miss a single episode and I mourned when the show was canceled. Of course, I grew up with Alf, a hairy, annoying, wise ass from outer space.  The actors, minus Alf himself, have now gone on to bigger roles, whether it be t.v. or the movies.  Or, like Ashton Kutcher, begin producing their own films.  I'm not sure if he's actually the producer or if he's the sole think-tank. I watched Punk'd and Beauty and the Geeks.  To use Melanie McFarland's expression, I feel like I'm downing in Sweetarts;  the shows offer a moment of entertainment without any real lasting value. 

John and I used to have a show that we actually enjoyed watching on a regular basis, together.  This means it has to be:

1. something we both like-an impressive feat

2. something that ends by 10 p.m.

These two criteria are very difficult to obtain.  Bizarre, but since Lost ended it's season, John and I have been wanting to sit and watch something together.  It's probably really because it's the only time we can spend together where we aren't actually doing something else at the same time.  Unfortunately, there's not a lot of shows that can catch us both and keep me!  Fortunately, we have discovered NCIS and since it's a mix of mystery, crime, humor, and tension, we try to watch it weekly.  Special Agent Gibbs, played by Mark Harmon, is written to enhance the seriousness of the situations and yet, at times, he can let us catch a peek at his funny side.  Last week he complimented Special Agent Tim (played by Sean Murray) for his catch on something they were trying to figure out.  He gave him the last cookie, but when Tim said it was actually Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo (played by Micheal Weatherly), Gibbs took the cookie back.  And ate it instead of giving it to Dinozzo. There are many little bits like this tossed into the more serious plot of finding out who killed the victim.  It's also very educational as we are fed tidbits of forensic science from Abby Sciuto (played by Pauley Perrette).  What I would like to learn:

Is that spider web tattoo on Abby real?

NCIS is good.  It's up at the top of our list of shows that we enjoy watching. The characters are strong, the plot is ever changing, and we can learn some things from it. It's like Monk, another crime-solving show with strong characters. I forsee us following Tony Shalhoub around, picking up tips on how to anally organize our house. In fact, I wish the character was real so he could come over and organize my house for me.

Mary Ann Appears in Public

It's difficult for me to separate television from movies as separate entertainment segments.  There are movies made for t.v., special airings of old movies, and movie channels on t.v.  There are actors who strictly do t.v., actors who do movies, and actors who do both.  It's all entertainment and I personally could care less about any of it.

Ok. That's a lie.  Now that I'm coming out of my closet and admitting that I actually do watch t.v. and movies, I should also admit that I do read about actors and actresses on occasion.  Most of the time I shake my head in disbelief as I read the headlines in the supermarket or the bits that news offer. I'm told I shouldn't feel sorry for their lives, but I do.  Some famous person sneezes and we all get to see it and read about it.  The photographer takes a picture of a famous actress walking down the street and blows it up a bit, then adds the caption,

Is Mrs. So-and-So mad at Mr. So-and-So?

Well, is she?  Why, in the picture she looks mad.  Maybe I should buy the magazine and read the article.  Maybe she is mad. And if so, what is she mad about?  I'll just add that $2.25 to my grocery bill so I can find out if Mrs. So-and-So is mad.  What if that Mrs. doesn't want everyone to know that she's mad?  Did anyone ask her to display her public life while she works as an actress? 

On MSN, I see a picture of Brad Pitt and the header that states,

Pitt appears in public after illness

I appeared in public after having a baby.  It's not quite like having an illness, but I did go to a birthing place to have him and then a medical professional looked at me to make sure all my parts were working before I was sent on my way.    But, because I'm not a famous movie actress, there's no one writing this (but me). I know this blog is suppose to be about television, but I have a short attention span and like to gab about movies as well.  How can I separate the two? Following that idea, how could I separate movies and television from fashion?  I really think that the three are combined and an important part of our culture. 

No, you really did read what I just wrote.  It is an important part of our culture.  What we watch on television and in the movies really do determine how many of us act;  it's not brain science.  I met a guy and his dog in a park a few years ago.  I can't recall what park or what the guy looked like, but I certainly remember how he told me his dog was an Akita.  He made sure to mention that his dog was the same kind that O.J. Simpson had.  This time period was during O.J's trial, and during a time when I refused to involve myself with the whole obsession that everyone had seemed about watching the trials.  I didn't know that O.J had a dog, but this guy certainly did.  He added that he thought O.J. was innocent and wanted to know what I thought.  Did I care?  Wasn't there more important things to be thinking about, like global warming and is my air conditioning wasting too much of our energy?  Then I realized that I had isolated myself from the American culture by not following O.J's trial.  Suddenly I was thrust back into elementary school when I lived in a very sheltered household pretending I knew who Micheal Jackson was.  If I don't follow pop culture, I will be the bore at the party and not know that knee-high socks are out of fashion again. 

Which brings us back to Brad.  I suppose it's important for me to read about Brad and what he did.  Brad Pitt isn't an actor for television, but he is part of America's entertainment.  In the article, Pitt Makes Appearance..., Brad Pitt is wearing a white jacket and toting his artificially colored blonde hair.  Are we trying to cover our grey hairs, Brad?  Actually, I don't know how old Brad is except that he's older than me and I already have grey hairs (but then, I attribute mine to having children).  How many men wear stark blonde hair with white jackets? Maybe this is a new fashion that I should know about so I can tell my better half the next time he goes shopping.  Brad looks washed out a bit in the photo, but that might not be because of his recent illness or that he forgot to bring along his personal makeup artist.  See?  I'm already entertained, it's educational, and I'm learning how men will be dressing soon as they mimic Brad.  I know my John won't dye his hair, but maybe I will come across more men with drastically dyed hair.  Brad's recent public appearance humored me. It's not that I have anything against Brad;  I don't even know the guy and the chances that he will get to meet me are slim to none unless he just happens to be at one of my (future) book signings.  Maybe then he can poke fun of my clothes and that I'm also covering up my grey hairs with a funky color dye. 

There's something else to be said about reading articles about Brad Pitt (and Mrs. So-and-So).  I personally know what meningitis is.  A guy that I went to High School with had it during his senior year. It's not a fun pass time.  I also know what terrible conditions an American could find in Ethiopia.  But do the Americans who follow the stars know what it means, besides it being some illness that Brad got or that although he may not have caught it there, the country is considered at a high risk for infectious diseases, such as meningococcal meningitis?  Brad was lucky.

And I am, too.  Maybe Brad didn't teach me about global warming and reducing energy costs, but I learned that blonde hair with white jackets will make me look washed out in photos, that one can quickly recover from meningitis, and where I can adopt my next child from since 43% of the total population are children.  Ok, so Brad didn't teach me that last part.  I had to ask the CIA who probably knew Brad was lucky, too.

Sex

I have been living in denial that I am the kind of person interested in entertainment created by television and movies.  From somewhere deep in my childhood, I was taught that t.v. and movies were a waste of time;  my time could be better spent learning something.  I grew up pretending that if it wasn't educational, it was a real time waster.  Granted, there are a lot of t.v. shows that are a waste of time, but I have found some worthwhile, past and present.

I've recently had the joy of viewing Sex and The City on a compilation disc courtesy of Blockbuster.  I never really bothered to watch the series on T.V. because of scheduling issues;  I think the show came on at 10 p.m. which was about the time I was crawling into bed.  A gentle word for those contemplating motherhood- it definitely can change ones personal curfew.  I never even bothered to find out the official name of the show and always thought it was Sex in the City.  Really, that makes more sense, anyway.  It seemed that the girls were having sex issues inside the city.  From the few episodes I watched when it was actually a "current" show (and not a rerun, but I can't think of the official term for shows happening now), the characters never really left the city anyway.  Having a complete season on one DVD makes more sense for those who are

a.) in desperate need of time and has scheduling issues

b.) don't have the patience to wait for the next episode

and/or

c.) would like to follow the series without interruptions, such as a missed episode because of  a.)

Sex and The City had something that caught me and created a desire to watch the whole series.  No, it wasn't the most obvious, that the series was written about sex.  It was that there 4 beautiful women who were really good actresses and that each character was very strong, witty, and had a diverse personality.  It was the constant story line that persevered; each woman had their own quest and I could expect this in every episode.  And yet, each episode brought in something new.  And finally it was the humor;  it wasn't slapstick, it was real humor about life. 

I briefly looked at HBO's website for Sex and The City.  The front page says there's an episode 94.  I have a long way to go since I'm only viewing the first season.  It must have been nice to be a part of the series, living in New York, having nice clothes, and a nice place to live.  This is all an assumption that it was filmed in NYC;  I would think it had to be shot on site since there's so much of NYC built into the story.  I think that is something else that's nice about the show;  I don't even have to go to NYC as I'm learning about it in the episodes.  Perhaps that's what hooked me-the educational aspect of it.  It's a study of NYC, of personal issues, and of women in general.  Granted, I'm not so hooked on the show that I want a screen saver for my phone, but I guess it's available for those who idolize the series.      

It's also just nice acting.  This is an important concept.  The actors and actresses are acting. ABC liked the success of HBO's Sex and The City that their writers got together to create an original concept, Desperate Housewives.  Five different women with very strong characters show us their humourous relationships with each other and men.  To me it seems to mirror Sex and The City except they added an extra person and they are all married rather than be single.  Then, last night, just before bed, I accidentally saw the first part of Hooking Up.  It was ABC's reality show version of Sex and The City, sort of.  There's only a few problems to that concept. 

• The characters weren't but briefly introduced at the beginning of the episode before the "dating" started;  every episode in Sex and The City could have been the first in the series as we were always given details to create strong characterization. 
• These weren't actors playing characters.  These were real people's lives, like all reality series, yet this too personal.  On last night's episode, the woman from the Midwest was in a heavy french kiss with some guy she's only dated 3 times.  I don't care if it's their 3rd date, or their 1st.  I don't want to see the real stuff. 

I switched off the show before I could find out if Hooking Up  would follow Sex and The City and show sex scenes.  Those are fine in the right context with actors, not real people with real lives.  I suppose it was a great concept on paper, following real people and see online dating in action.  I like how one blogger, Melanie McFarland, summed up the show. She compared them to the candy, Sweetarts.  Eating those candy pieces, I know they have no nutritional value.  It's all just calories, yet I chomp on them anyway.  I believe that would be the same with Hooking Up.  Is there any value to the show or are we just acting as "peeping toms" without having to stand under their living room window?   In the New York Times, Virginia wrote in her column that these people are more real than reality stars.  No kidding!  This is exactly why it's not my cup of tea.  Their personal lives and most private feelings are on display.  I can't imagine wanting to sit and listen to a stranger's diary.  I know that at times we humans can be interested in the lives of the rich, famous, and powerful, but are we that interested in everybody else?

I like how Matthew Gilbert of the Boston Globe compares the show to the board game, Mystery Date.  I see it more like ABC's desperate attempt to grab single women who are interested in finding a mate.  Let's just look at the stats for a few seconds.  If, say, one million single women are watching the show...then that's one million women viewing the commercials.  If ABC's masterminds and I have the same brain, I would think they would make sure the commercials were for women.  This could be anything from makeup and tampons to cars and alcohol.  Isn't that the real reason why Hooking Up was created?   Doesn't sex really sell?  So what if we drag a few real people through painful public dating experiences?  ABC could certainly say it's a win-win situation for everyone.  The women get t.v. exposure, we get to watch their lives, and ABC gets a fat pocket.

Now that would be a nice reality show.  I would title it, ABC Gets a Fat Pocket .